She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
