I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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