so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize