I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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