Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
