I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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