not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
