I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
