So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
