I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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