Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
