Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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