but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
