Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
false alarm. still invincible.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize