I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
