Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
