im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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