Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize