they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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