Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
