You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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