Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
