I think I died a long time ago.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
