My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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