Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
