I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
