i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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