I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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