so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
