East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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