i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
