it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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