I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
