I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
