I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
