What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize