worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize