he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
