He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
