Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
