..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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