come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
