I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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