Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
