so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
