really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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