Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There r osticjed everywhere
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
