Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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