I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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