I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Randomize
