I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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