if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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