I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
