i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
