it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
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