I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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