my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize