hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sex in the backyard? Check.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
