how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
