but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
