is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
