So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
