plz talk dirty to me
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
