how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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