I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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