it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
