We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
