Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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