Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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