too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
