I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
