so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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