He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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