I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
