I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
