I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
