And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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