I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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