"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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