I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
