He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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